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This song is written by Stephen Lynch, and I saw a video for it on Youtube.
I decided to figure it out.
This tab may have mistakes, but it's as close as I can get it, so hope you like it!
Tuning is standard.
It begins with the intro:
Stephen Lynch(spoken): "Because of my great love of the theater, I'm writing a musical.
It's going to be a huge hit on broadway, I feel it. I'm going to try one of the songs
out tonight, and I've written out some dialogue. I want you guys to play the characters
who interact while I sing the song.
It's about a guy who's sort of down on his luck, life has not been treating him well, he
just went through a break up, he goes to a bar, and he meets a girl and they
immediately hit it off.
Let's see what happens, okay? You get to play the girl (hands Rod Cone a sheet of
paper). You get to play the main character, named Stephen(hands paper to Joberg).
So, let me set the stage. It's a dark, snowy December and Stephen is walking. He walks
into a bar, and then it show him and a girl laughing. Then you go back to the apartment
where you live, and this is the song."
Intro:
Am C/G F
E|----0-----0------1-|
B|--1-----1------1---|
G|---2-----0------2--|
D|-------------------|Play 2 times.
A|-0-----------------|
E|-------3------1----|
Verse 1:
Am C/G F
E|----0-----0------1-|
B|--1-----1------1---|
G|---2-----0------2--|
D|-------------------|Play 4 times.
A|-0-----------------|
E|-------3------1----|
Am C/G F
Oh my God.
Am C/G F
I feel sick.
Am C/G F
Drank too much.
Am C/G F
Whiskey dick.
Verse 2:
Am C/G F
E|----0-----0------1-|
B|--1-----1------1---|
G|---2-----0------2--|
D|-------------------|Play 4 times.
A|-0-----------------|
E|-------3------1----|
Am C/G F
Try so hard...
Am C/G F
with this chick.
Am C/G F
Still too soft...
Am C/G F
whiskey dick.
Ooooooooooh (sustain during dialogue between Rod Cone and Joberg, while playing intro)
Spoken:
Rod: It's okay Stephen, it happens to everyone! I was just looking forward to your
massive twelve inch cock inside of me.
Joberg: I know. This has never happened to me and my twelve inch cock before, and I've
been with literally thousands of women.
Rod: And left them all satisfied I hear. Why don't we take a break and try again later?
Joberg: Okay, Megan Fox.
Verse 3(strummed lightly):
Am C/G F
E|-5-----3------1----|
B|-5-----5------1----|
G|-5-----5------2----|
D|-7-----5------2----|Play 4 times.
A|-7-----3------3----|
E|-5-----3------1----|
Am C/G F
Rise it must!
Am C/G F
Point to prove!
Am C/G F
Wait I just,
Am C/G F
Felt it move!
Verse 4(same as 3, chord wise)
Am C/G F
E|-5-----3------1----|
B|-5-----5------1----|
G|-5-----5------2----|
D|-7-----5------2----|Play 4 times.
A|-7-----3------3----|
E|-5-----3------1----|
Am c/G F
Try ag---ain!
Am C/G F
Have no doubt!
Am C/G F
Now it's in!
Am C/G F
Just fell out...
Oooooooooh (same as before)
Spoken:
Rod: Want to try it in my mouth?
Joberg: It's so frustrating! It's like trying to push a bull with a rope(?)!
(both laugh)
Rod: That's hilarious!
Joberg: I know.
Rod: What's it like to be so funny AND have a twelve inch cock?
Joberg: Don't forget my Tony nomination.
Rod: Tell you what, you get some rest and I'll lie here and pleasure myself while
looking at your massive twelve inch cock.
Joberg: My massive twelve inch cock?
Rod: Your massive twelve inch cock. Good night, Stephen.
Outro:
Am C/G F
E|----0-----0------1-|
B|--1-----1------1---|
G|---2-----0------2--|
D|-------------------|Play 4 times.
A|-0-----------------|
E|-------3------1----|
Am C/G F
Had to try.
Am C/G F
Gave up quick.
Am C/G F
Sleep now my....
Am C/G F
whiskey dick.
End scene.
Artist: Stephen Lynch
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